All in a day's work in Singapore - real-life office stories as told to me (Part 4)

I organised a morning workshop for 35 male students aged 15-16, who descended upon the tea snack area like ravenous locusts and left nothing behind. Even though I have ordered extra portions, filling the stomachs of growing teenagers is a futile exercise nobody should ever attempt.

Saw the dagger clipped to the calendar next to the rear-view mirror of my company bus which is also used for ferrying actors and crew to filming locations. Pretty sure the weapon is not for self-defence for the driver against stressed-out violent directors. Most likely it is a handy tool for prima donna actresses to back-stab one another.

Definitions:

Meeting:
"shorthand reply to answer inquisitive cleaning ladies should you ever go to work earlier than usual for whatever reasons. This "meeting" will be understood immediately and you can be on your way to whatever stupid shit work that require you to wake up so damn early."

Work-Life Balance:
"As long as you finished all the work assigned to you on time, your boss' life will be balanced."

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Actual conversations in meetings somewhere in Singapore:

(Looking at the yearly expenditure report)
Boss: what do these freelancers do?
Admin staff: Freelancing


(Proposal on new facilities)
Boss: what's the purpose of this Relaxation Corner?
Staff: For employees to relax.

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"After years of working in the same company, I discover that the top 3 tips to a long and successful career are still: location, location, and location. Once you are summoned, it is important that you arrive as quickly as possible to prevent any aggravation from impatient and unreasonable forces that will put a dampener to the rest of your day even if you arrive just one minute late. Hence I'm happy my cubicle is situated less than 10 metres to the restroom, so when nature calls, I would gladly answer without delay!"

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"Just had a chat with a pretty English newscaster and realised she doesn't know what a powerbank is and I didn't have the heart to tell her I have three pieces. Does this mean I'm overqualified to be a newscaster?"

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"During a discussion on an upcoming team-building event, a nervous team leader hopes that the members would be pleasing to the eye, but I caution that 'good to see' would not be 'good to eat' - according to a well-known Chinese phrase 好看不好吃. I'm sorry, I shouldn't stereotype. There are also those lousy workers who are aesthetically-challenged."

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