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1. Porn : there are loads of online sexperts providing an excellent hand-y job in this area already.   2. Personal porn : you can hav...

Friday 30 November 2018

Get flushed in Germany - A visit to the restrooms can be an adventure in itself.

(Photo taken at Munich Marienplatz Neues Rathaus (new town hall)
In most government buildings, pay-per-use public washrooms like these are your best bet. They can be expensive, but they are always clean and well-maintained. I've read that there are locals who would just jump over without paying as a form of protest against the high price. But as a tourist, I would rather abide the law and not risk getting my face splashed on their social media.

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(Photo taken at Munich Central Train Station)
These Rail & Fresh washrooms can be found at most train stations. Entry is at a whopping €1 but you can get a 50-cent voucher in return which you can redeem against your purchase at certain shops located at the station. And in some places, you can also top up your water bottle from their water dispenser and charge your mobile devices from their power outlets. 

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(Photo taken at Paulaner Bräuhaus in Munich)
Apart from the usual 'WC' wordings or the man/woman universal icons, you will get those marked 'Herren' and 'Damen'. And if you try to use your logic thinking to decipher German assuming that 'Damen' should be Gents since there's a 'men' in it, then you are absolutely wrong. This one gives a good crash course to first-timers in Germany while injecting a little evergreen joke at the same time. 


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(Photo taken at Schmalznudel - Cafe Frischhut, Munich)

Taking the next logical step in shortening the words on the door, much to the frustration of tourists, you will get a cryptic 'D' and 'H'. This establishment did a cheeky painting with two little signposts marked 'Damen' and 'Herren', which most tourists in urgent need to relieve themselves would miss.

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(Photo taken at Weihenstephaner restaurant, Berlin)

There are those washrooms with doors plastered in colourful maypole design with the restaurant's name prominently displayed in the middle, leading the unwitting customer to assume that the door leads to the kitchen or VIP dining room at first glance. On closer inspection at the streamers, you will find 'Gents' and 'Ladies' written in several languages and the male and female symbol at the bottom. All vital information hidden in plain sight.

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(Photo taken at Hans im Glück, Munich)


The most head-scratching sign I've seen in a restaurant were these written in a German regional dialect (I think). Thankfully, I've only encountered it once. If you are too shy to ask the service staff which one you should use, you can either wait for a local to enter/exit from either one of the two doors, or if you can't hold it any longer, you still have a 50-50 shot at choosing the right one. Burschn is Gents by the way.

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The following are taken in the Gents

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(Photo taken at Hutt'n Essen & Trinken, Nuremberg)

This is a thoughtful idea of placing the newspaper tabloid section at the urinals for some communal reading of the latest gossips you can piss at.

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(Photo taken at Zum Gulden Stern Historische Bratwurstküche, Nuremberg)


Don't think for one second that the extreme right urinal offered the most privacy. If you are done using it and found the middle urinal in use, you would find yourself in the awkward situation of waiting for the guy to finish his business before you can exit and you wouldn't know where to look!

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Urinal in a stall? WTF? And of all places, this is located at the German Parliament building, Deutscher Bundestag (Reichstag building) in Berlin. Perhaps this is the German way of telling the world that they are very focused in doing only one thing at one time.


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You might be interested to read this:

Five things I learnt in Germany after spending 16 days



Friday 16 November 2018

Five things I learnt in Germany after spending 16 days


1. Country destroyed due to a ruthless dictator, rebuilt by a resilient populace. And they did a good job restoring dozens of historical buildings back to their former glory before the first bomb was dropped and you can't differentiate the originals from the reconstructions.

2. Since beer can be cheaper than water in restaurants, it is the ideal way to taste the local culture and save money at the same time.

3. All currywurst outlets would say they are the original in some form or another. In a way they are not wrong since they all taste the same.

4. It is wrong to assume that Germans are rude. If they (especially the older folks) can only converse in German, it is tough for them to strike up any decent conversations with foreign visitors. I had the most interesting conversation with a friendly English-speaking retired tax officer in a beer house, while an old couple spoke animatedly in German in a restaurant about how delicious the sausage was and I didn't understand a single word.

5. German punctuality is a myth. While trains do arrive on time, my Lufthansa flight from Berlin to Munich was delayed since dozens of passengers have yet to clear security screening ten minutes prior to take off.

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 You might be interested to read this:
Get flushed in Germany - A visit to the restrooms can be an adventure in itself.




Monday 9 April 2018

Religion

Some people may not realise that I am a deeply religious man. Each week I join my fellow brothers and sisters to sing praise to the source of our eternal happiness. And I proudly wear my badge of solidarity across my chest for everyone to see. Yes- my religion is football. I spend my weekends watching live matches and I own far too many jerseys than I would like to admit.