tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49652251863464359992024-03-13T22:08:57.120+08:00Winston's Random MusingsHumour and satire blog from a Singapore nerdwinstonchongsingaporehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10049068803842850535noreply@blogger.comBlogger148125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965225186346435999.post-77389101368180516232019-04-21T09:50:00.001+08:002019-04-23T13:59:10.359+08:00Four things I learned from watching the latest Chinese pugilistic period drama (which also works for the entire 'wuxia' 武侠 genre).<div dir="ltr">
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1. All sects have healthy cash flow to allow their disciples to spend their days perfecting their martial arts skills. This can only mean they rely on donation or extortion to flourish.</div>
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2. All swordspeople are skilled grooming experts. No matter where they might be - either in cross-country pursuit, or marooned on an island, they would always appear well-coiffed with make-up and carry a secret stash of spare clothes to change.</div>
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3. Men have long tresses like women. If a man is above 30, he is required to have a moustache and if he is pushing 50, include a beard as well. If he is an octogenarian, when he is sprouting words of wisdom, he will need to stroke his beard as well.</div>
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4. For a woman, going under disguise simply means putting on a fake moustache and she will be instantly unrecognisable. For a man, smearing some dirt on your face would do the same trick.<br />
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winstonchongsingaporehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10049068803842850535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965225186346435999.post-23408958509237746152018-11-30T21:41:00.002+08:002018-11-30T21:48:44.403+08:00Get flushed in Germany - A visit to the restrooms can be an adventure in itself.<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYoZ3SbHufuhuuIItkcA2bQwIFhCu5STRRTS55EJvLEWONBiJ2MJthXAMqCAS86cW5UIYy58c0BtiKLi8oHoqw5YgLS5b8GtW-84z71lzgKDwmjQ7hH_vlqjl-c_33M-HfiHw9zACHPYw/s1600/DSCF0539.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYoZ3SbHufuhuuIItkcA2bQwIFhCu5STRRTS55EJvLEWONBiJ2MJthXAMqCAS86cW5UIYy58c0BtiKLi8oHoqw5YgLS5b8GtW-84z71lzgKDwmjQ7hH_vlqjl-c_33M-HfiHw9zACHPYw/s400/DSCF0539.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(Photo taken at Munich Marienplatz Neues
Rathaus (new town hall)</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
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In most government buildings, pay-per-use public washrooms like these
are your best bet. They can be expensive, but they are always clean and
well-maintained. I've read that there are locals who would just jump
over without paying as a form of protest against the high price. But as a
tourist, I would rather abide the law and not risk getting my face
splashed on their social media. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwaeLobP3Er5_CqVoB7rxfrsiRzHM6CLY08f1ynlx8s1IN8XZNp9JWL89HnCjc37_Q4FuKDQDsumroMh6Ci9kzi_yI_FCorCDtlunIcku7PepYHefvhVDiGNVwylTghZhFVV14GSecfY4/s1600/DSCF0666.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwaeLobP3Er5_CqVoB7rxfrsiRzHM6CLY08f1ynlx8s1IN8XZNp9JWL89HnCjc37_Q4FuKDQDsumroMh6Ci9kzi_yI_FCorCDtlunIcku7PepYHefvhVDiGNVwylTghZhFVV14GSecfY4/s400/DSCF0666.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(Photo taken at Munich Central Train Station)</td></tr>
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These Rail & Fresh washrooms can be found at most train stations.
Entry is at a whopping €1 but you can get a 50-cent voucher in return
which you can redeem against your purchase at certain shops located at
the station. And in some places, you can also top up your water bottle
from their water dispenser and charge your mobile devices from their
power outlets. </div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5Edhnr7_0lJKavLGYuAQ3_AtBiv8ckVyq2gaKEu0soP-DZ_m3BLIOshB3m6dYFf51CFyC09kW2SOrp9DTioEPth4U19HHWOAKnmo4PlVkZmwQAPuvVwg3Xn_I8_6swRlpZ3u6teGj0OU/s1600/20181020_193034.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5Edhnr7_0lJKavLGYuAQ3_AtBiv8ckVyq2gaKEu0soP-DZ_m3BLIOshB3m6dYFf51CFyC09kW2SOrp9DTioEPth4U19HHWOAKnmo4PlVkZmwQAPuvVwg3Xn_I8_6swRlpZ3u6teGj0OU/s400/20181020_193034.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(Photo taken at Paulaner
Bräuhaus in Munich)</td></tr>
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Apart from the usual 'WC' wordings or the man/woman universal icons, you
will get those marked 'Herren' and 'Damen'. And if you try to use your
logic thinking to decipher German assuming that 'Damen' should be Gents
since there's a 'men' in it, then you are absolutely wrong. This one
gives a good crash course to first-timers in Germany while injecting a
little evergreen joke at the same time. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPHvhx4xBLWm8dSvr9P8MJbSr-a4BhIdCihBzXFL_YPycP6lvlfrruCXJnas-GwW9vVYNjExYelwJXW7mCgMq4iF-nvfJDEAYlO_gDILk5sYTfqnUyUSnwJSQx8fVNz2JsTuBqdPBlhmc/s1600/toilets-002.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPHvhx4xBLWm8dSvr9P8MJbSr-a4BhIdCihBzXFL_YPycP6lvlfrruCXJnas-GwW9vVYNjExYelwJXW7mCgMq4iF-nvfJDEAYlO_gDILk5sYTfqnUyUSnwJSQx8fVNz2JsTuBqdPBlhmc/s400/toilets-002.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(Photo taken at Schmalznudel - Cafe Frischhut, Munich)<br />
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Taking the next logical step in shortening the words on the door, much to the frustration of tourists, you will get a cryptic 'D' and 'H'. This establishment did a cheeky painting with two little signposts marked 'Damen' and 'Herren', which most tourists in urgent need to relieve themselves would miss. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcqzY80-GLR5xdXmCtwDr61SJ6gjwMpw2i2eAiecV1TPMHO6a25Cv9fFQiyoU_4eNwnUA9cMFa1AdQPc73dEecHDND2vrJtrnKoNpD43CFhe6TiMJl2BiyN69SnYacK6q3L-nPJ-bMkoI/s1600/toilets.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1138" data-original-width="1600" height="283" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcqzY80-GLR5xdXmCtwDr61SJ6gjwMpw2i2eAiecV1TPMHO6a25Cv9fFQiyoU_4eNwnUA9cMFa1AdQPc73dEecHDND2vrJtrnKoNpD43CFhe6TiMJl2BiyN69SnYacK6q3L-nPJ-bMkoI/s400/toilets.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(Photo taken at Weihenstephaner restaurant, Berlin)</td></tr>
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There are those washrooms with doors plastered in colourful maypole design with the restaurant's name prominently displayed in the middle, leading the unwitting customer to assume that the door leads to the kitchen or VIP dining room at first glance. On closer inspection at the streamers, you will find 'Gents' and 'Ladies' written in several languages and the male and female symbol at the bottom. All vital information hidden in plain sight. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnGv1M6dQIg7aoqzgAKtM3FkxEBfzAWn95RuGldKJjnbaCKY8d3LkE6rMScr67j7WfTYUOCPZVKmLTDFhqGRvtrjbZ6RA1p0sEHGwnTz6hZmRjQAeaDC7BhUsjm_L12_fJprr-fWegnTc/s1600/toilets-001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnGv1M6dQIg7aoqzgAKtM3FkxEBfzAWn95RuGldKJjnbaCKY8d3LkE6rMScr67j7WfTYUOCPZVKmLTDFhqGRvtrjbZ6RA1p0sEHGwnTz6hZmRjQAeaDC7BhUsjm_L12_fJprr-fWegnTc/s400/toilets-001.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(Photo taken at Hans im Glück, Munich)</td></tr>
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The most head-scratching sign I've seen in a restaurant were these written in a German regional dialect (I think). Thankfully, I've only encountered it once. If you are too shy to ask the service staff which one you should use, you can either wait for a local to enter/exit from either one of the two doors, or if you can't hold it any longer, you still have a 50-50 shot at choosing the right one. Burschn is Gents by the way. </div>
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The following are taken in the Gents</h3>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd62ku3eReAi-i7CRt_Gipq-jsmCtLOyCzQ5ucn1mjDkoCP9wPiGkQMjVrcF7oSSFaeQ1DPAVCug-1zVcjIjhiiWKtewFYO2rwvNBri5_iavsQkPrqT9-oqehiAG6b1ikjqKznYIn7qVo/s1600/20181025_142455.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd62ku3eReAi-i7CRt_Gipq-jsmCtLOyCzQ5ucn1mjDkoCP9wPiGkQMjVrcF7oSSFaeQ1DPAVCug-1zVcjIjhiiWKtewFYO2rwvNBri5_iavsQkPrqT9-oqehiAG6b1ikjqKznYIn7qVo/s400/20181025_142455.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(Photo taken at Hutt'n Essen & Trinken, Nuremberg)</td></tr>
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This is a thoughtful idea of placing the newspaper tabloid section at the urinals for some communal reading of the latest gossips you can piss at. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzu3v_c3OCwwlGrqn-loIME9JGlDEQu7TG02h2y18hfPCAAYk54mXaOPPXjw94WOLMaGbph5iV123ers9bRStF_Z7MJoDnzl57svQXzy8l9yGeaZOUWy2dJ4qXIga77GH28D6sn7dmubI/s1600/20181026_124331.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzu3v_c3OCwwlGrqn-loIME9JGlDEQu7TG02h2y18hfPCAAYk54mXaOPPXjw94WOLMaGbph5iV123ers9bRStF_Z7MJoDnzl57svQXzy8l9yGeaZOUWy2dJ4qXIga77GH28D6sn7dmubI/s400/20181026_124331.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(Photo taken at Zum Gulden Stern Historische Bratwurstküche, Nuremberg)</td></tr>
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Don't think for one second that the extreme right urinal offered the most privacy. If you are done using it and found the middle urinal in use, you would find yourself in the awkward situation of waiting for the guy to finish his business before you can exit and you wouldn't know where to look! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ0cmp9U9De1O4exPWtHwum_QDxEp0zHk2IiSsS2SSL3B0fg_mZTt87AeAj16hhxdoFvErOwuzkfIwRBy9pdlLeXBtuIX9qsavZRxeFEwEeNoNALUuQpVwVSCYLXDre94T8UV6cCBawNk/s1600/20181030_181110.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="900" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ0cmp9U9De1O4exPWtHwum_QDxEp0zHk2IiSsS2SSL3B0fg_mZTt87AeAj16hhxdoFvErOwuzkfIwRBy9pdlLeXBtuIX9qsavZRxeFEwEeNoNALUuQpVwVSCYLXDre94T8UV6cCBawNk/s640/20181030_181110.jpg" width="360" /></a></div>
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Urinal in a stall? WTF? And of all places, this is located at the German Parliament building, Deutscher Bundestag (Reichstag building) in Berlin. Perhaps this is the German way of telling the world that they are very focused in doing only one thing at one time.</div>
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<h3>
You might be interested to read this: </h3>
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<a href="https://winstonchongsingapore.blogspot.com/2018/11/five-things-i-learnt-in-germany-after.html">Five things I learnt in Germany after spending 16 days</a></h3>
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winstonchongsingaporehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10049068803842850535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965225186346435999.post-31435165060414907852018-11-16T17:42:00.001+08:002018-11-30T21:49:41.163+08:00Five things I learnt in Germany after spending 16 days<br />
1. Country
destroyed due to a ruthless dictator, rebuilt by a resilient populace.
And they did a good job restoring dozens of historical buildings back to
their former glory before the first bomb was dropped and you can't
differentiate the originals from the reconstructions.<br />
<br />
2. Since beer
can be cheaper than water in restaurants, it is the ideal way to taste
the local culture and save money at the same time.<br />
<br />
3. All currywurst
outlets would say they are the original in some form or another. In a
way they are not wrong since they all taste the same.<br />
<br />
4. It is wrong
to assume that Germans are rude. If they (especially the older folks)
can only converse in German, it is tough for them to strike up any
decent conversations with foreign visitors. I had the most interesting
conversation with a friendly English-speaking retired tax officer in a
beer house, while an old couple spoke animatedly in German in a
restaurant about how delicious the sausage was and I didn't understand a
single word.<br />
<br />
5. German punctuality is a myth. While trains do
arrive on time, my Lufthansa flight from Berlin to Munich was delayed
since dozens of passengers have yet to clear security screening ten
minutes prior to take off.<br />
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<h3>
You might be interested to read this:<a href="https://winstonchongsingapore.blogspot.com/2018/11/get-flushed-in-germany-visit-to.html"><br />Get flushed in Germany - A visit to the restrooms can be an adventure in itself.</a></h3>
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winstonchongsingaporehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10049068803842850535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965225186346435999.post-74401793867199076912018-04-09T15:12:00.002+08:002018-04-09T15:12:38.843+08:00ReligionSome people may not realise that I am a deeply religious man. Each week I
join my fellow brothers and sisters to sing praise to the source of our
eternal happiness. And I proudly wear my badge of solidarity across my
chest for everyone to see. Yes- my religion is football. I spend my
weekends watching live matches and I own far too many jerseys than I
would like to admit.winstonchongsingaporehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10049068803842850535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965225186346435999.post-79027887407044645612017-12-08T14:51:00.002+08:002017-12-08T20:58:20.013+08:00Merry Xmas...oh crapGiving Xmas presents is like shitting. It takes some effort for people
to get it out in a day or a few. And once it leaves you, you don't talk
about it at all, to anyone, ever, unless people talked to you about it
first.<br />
<br />
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*******</div>
<br />
Tis the season when you will love and quickly hate the sound of sleigh bells everywhere and in your head. winstonchongsingaporehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10049068803842850535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965225186346435999.post-37764741923926281282017-08-21T13:26:00.002+08:002017-08-21T13:28:07.339+08:00Synchronised swimming<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px;">Synchronised swimming should be re-categorised under Performance Gymnastics rather than Swimming with the 'aquatic dancers' flashing their mega-watt smiles while other athletes can only muster constipated frowns and animal grunts. Since their training also involve the eye-catching application of waterproof make-up, the final score should also reflect it.</span></span>winstonchongsingaporehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10049068803842850535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965225186346435999.post-6801423225918930962017-07-29T09:39:00.003+08:002017-07-29T09:39:40.398+08:00Ravens are goodI would love to live in the Game of Thrones universe. Their raven
message delivery system span vast swathes of land but still reach their
intended recipients all the time - sealed and secured. Your email sent
at light speed, to another colleague located a few feet away, would
probably sit in the inbox till winter has come.winstonchongsingaporehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10049068803842850535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965225186346435999.post-21704785731559256082017-05-04T07:32:00.001+08:002017-05-04T07:32:44.712+08:00May the Fourth...well, you know the rest.winstonchongsingaporehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10049068803842850535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965225186346435999.post-68585054408284795052017-04-28T08:46:00.002+08:002017-04-28T08:46:35.985+08:00Tight buttsWife: Do we have tight butts?<br /> Me: Not sure about you, but I confirmed have.<br /> W: Why can't I have yours?<br /> M: Not easy, must work on it.<br /> W: I can just buy what!<br /> M: You very rich and lazy.<br /> W: What you talking? Can get very easy in shopping mall, Chinatown might even be cheaper.<br />
<br />
(That's when I realised she is asking about Thai Baht and not tight butts.)winstonchongsingaporehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10049068803842850535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965225186346435999.post-40058988417020271632017-04-27T08:58:00.003+08:002017-04-27T08:58:14.825+08:00The dark sideThere are seedy places here that the powers that be, would rather they
remain in the dark, literally. Whenever I have my primal needs in the
wee hours, I would try to fight my urges so as to avoid the unsavory
characters that rule the night. So instead of going to the kitchen for
water at midnight and come face to face with lizards and roaches, I've
placed a glass next to my bed before I sleep.<br />
<br />
<br />winstonchongsingaporehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10049068803842850535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965225186346435999.post-26037701749127938112017-04-11T16:09:00.002+08:002017-04-11T16:09:18.635+08:00Stay United<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Nothing can forcibly tear me away from United - a brand that I've loved over the decades. I'm sure they will fly again from their latest setback and we fans should rally behind Jose. We are talking about the same United right?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><br /></span>winstonchongsingaporehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10049068803842850535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965225186346435999.post-89657642898955513502017-03-30T17:40:00.003+08:002017-03-30T17:40:51.124+08:00This Singapore nerd's musings on himself (part 12 photo journal)<span id="goog_963225833"></span><span id="goog_963225834"></span><span aria-live="polite" class="fbPhotosPhotoCaption" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id="fbPhotoSnowliftCaption" tabindex="0"> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqteEOEi8rtt8aY_yyEZSOrMcRt4RW6JABxYFDpF-Vzb2lqIXeY2i9-2vpMTKI11eGkjmEiqFPtXg2IGJrIAcCqyTgbK3jhXXI_SJz6eG8rUuvtQYSLyQQbpj3VgkLMywIOCc8NdmypSY/s1600/15355556_10154325622211374_2240034955806708371_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqteEOEi8rtt8aY_yyEZSOrMcRt4RW6JABxYFDpF-Vzb2lqIXeY2i9-2vpMTKI11eGkjmEiqFPtXg2IGJrIAcCqyTgbK3jhXXI_SJz6eG8rUuvtQYSLyQQbpj3VgkLMywIOCc8NdmypSY/s400/15355556_10154325622211374_2240034955806708371_n.jpg" title="" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><h4 style="font-size: medium; text-align: start;">
<span style="font-size: 12.8px; text-align: center;">I sorry I shouldn't have probed. It is tough for people with split personality to find work. Kudos to Samsung for employing them.</span></h4>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</span><br />
<h4>
<br /></h4>
<span aria-live="polite" class="fbPhotosPhotoCaption" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" tabindex="0"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitKl5pZbvqoJOBzOcySCLMXOzqPvDe0K1FISH0AubxS_MKD7NLwB0dLt8ogfk1FTsjTFdOjEknaKRzlZijL1iCxG-y4UD-JAYXpcoSQBjaCFrm3EXsmtXexDkQtTJ-uFksOgJk9xGU_Dw/s1600/15672817_10154368669646374_4958203120177579349_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitKl5pZbvqoJOBzOcySCLMXOzqPvDe0K1FISH0AubxS_MKD7NLwB0dLt8ogfk1FTsjTFdOjEknaKRzlZijL1iCxG-y4UD-JAYXpcoSQBjaCFrm3EXsmtXexDkQtTJ-uFksOgJk9xGU_Dw/s400/15672817_10154368669646374_4958203120177579349_n.jpg" title="" width="283" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Police should update this theft prevention placard since no smart
thief would dress so conspicuously like a character from the Grease
musical stealing 2-inch thick antique laptop and mobile phone with
protruding antenna.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ8hFuMhknmJUkfKJ0nECJ52BAWb4ICductyoo4WaiYH30jynrgXT8FMRxX91RofQVLdK6UlFpvC4jLdyrTampXsmARKm5yUYQlQNFCmNrMcdffE5WNk6ft30Cg4wqzTTW_yVhR_qelwI/s1600/15826551_10154402393546374_1465116945416605990_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ8hFuMhknmJUkfKJ0nECJ52BAWb4ICductyoo4WaiYH30jynrgXT8FMRxX91RofQVLdK6UlFpvC4jLdyrTampXsmARKm5yUYQlQNFCmNrMcdffE5WNk6ft30Cg4wqzTTW_yVhR_qelwI/s400/15826551_10154402393546374_1465116945416605990_n.jpg" style="cursor: move;" title="" width="275" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="fbPhotosPhotoCaption" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id="fbPhotoSnowliftCaption" tabindex="0"><span class="hasCaption">While
most companies embrace diversity, it is refreshing to see a brand still
dishing out their One product. You just need to say 2 words to order:
quantity and dine/takeaway. Don't be an idiot and utter the product
name.</span></span></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZmALncwj7U0fQpXFJOK2eBV6CO08aw_tp4TGABIv6_aFf5iVvJ-_LXAiuw47zZVhx2JhmWzVTVVDnK0gTtd3mQ1F0PAJmGU5i5RuXdGXsYXdoRbFrNHqmX29t36QNd8iEPzAP1pvwczA/s1600/16903502_10154545201016374_311701576492390319_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZmALncwj7U0fQpXFJOK2eBV6CO08aw_tp4TGABIv6_aFf5iVvJ-_LXAiuw47zZVhx2JhmWzVTVVDnK0gTtd3mQ1F0PAJmGU5i5RuXdGXsYXdoRbFrNHqmX29t36QNd8iEPzAP1pvwczA/s320/16903502_10154545201016374_311701576492390319_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The most perplexing sight I saw during my jungle hike. The type of gloves you use are to protect you from pointy stuff like branches and rocks, not the kind you use to keep your hands clean from eating fried chicken.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2bX-_vDcI9qPSXipWId_Q8OvaymyUPlK8obw9v8EWj5dbtCLg8YR_kqFNk5S0y12UzcJP9-A06n06sMHvI-3CZZz1tJJ9wWKNHtu9fhpkRC3dLfQ2l7EBNBtg8bLmbrOtDw4luWk6Dvc/s1600/17353395_10154593064881374_8669111676832233835_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2bX-_vDcI9qPSXipWId_Q8OvaymyUPlK8obw9v8EWj5dbtCLg8YR_kqFNk5S0y12UzcJP9-A06n06sMHvI-3CZZz1tJJ9wWKNHtu9fhpkRC3dLfQ2l7EBNBtg8bLmbrOtDw4luWk6Dvc/s320/17353395_10154593064881374_8669111676832233835_n.jpg" width="295" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="hasCaption">I
can never understand why people can watch a movie on a screen the size
of a postage stamp, when you can enlarge the size to a dollar bill with
just a flick of your wrist. I was so tempted to flip the phone for this
foreign worker but he has dozed off and I've reached my stop.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
<h2 style="background-color: #c0a154; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 0px 0px 0.5em; position: relative; text-align: center;">
Click for <a href="http://winstonchongsingapore.blogspot.sg/2014/09/master-post-this-singapore-nerds.html" style="color: #993322; text-decoration: none;">More musings on myself. </a></h2>
<br />winstonchongsingaporehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10049068803842850535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965225186346435999.post-86192612011795418472017-03-14T11:27:00.001+08:002017-03-14T11:27:15.677+08:00I'm all for the Beauty of an inclusive society and against the Beasts who opposed itwinstonchongsingaporehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10049068803842850535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965225186346435999.post-3819813353719905582017-02-24T08:37:00.002+08:002017-02-24T08:37:47.453+08:0096 hoursWith perseverance and patience, great things can happen to anyone. After
96 hours of anguish, I finally receive my reward - Friday is here.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />winstonchongsingaporehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10049068803842850535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965225186346435999.post-2255604925926007322017-01-10T22:53:00.001+08:002017-01-27T11:55:08.419+08:00Fowl Play<div dir="ltr">
The best Year of the Rooster ad campaigns should showcase something more palatable rather than huggable. Instead of cute chick plushies, think roast chicken. Aren't we taught not to play with our food?</div>
<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;">
*****</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
In the Year of the Rooster, I hope people will talk fewer cocks, engage
in lesser fowl play and may we finally discover why it crossed the road.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
winstonchongsingaporehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10049068803842850535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965225186346435999.post-18874928303098457022017-01-01T00:34:00.001+08:002017-01-01T00:34:59.971+08:00Happy fucking new year <p dir="ltr">For something already bad, adding more will only make it worse. Just remember that 2017 is 2016 plus 1.</p>
winstonchongsingaporehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10049068803842850535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965225186346435999.post-27863808893291421762016-12-11T09:15:00.000+08:002016-12-13T15:26:34.648+08:00Five things I've learnt during the 10-day Osaka-Kyoto trip:<br />
1. You can still get food poisoning in a First World country like Japan if you are unlucky like me. Thus <span class="text_exposed_show">it is imperative to have insurance coverage and a flexible itinerary to make last-minute changes. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="text_exposed_show">
2. All shopping malls and shops seemed to be using the same English CD
of Xmas songs this December and I've heard the same Beatles Xmas song
more than I can remember.<br />
<br />
3. Osaka (and I believe the entire
Japan consists of 2 worlds: above ground and underground. Not only can
you go anywhere via the extensive underground train network, it is also
possible to live your entire life not seeing the sun since everything
under the sun is available under the ground.<br />
<br />
4. We have all heard
the saying that there are no ugly women, only lazy ones. I observed
that all young Japanese girls are very hardworking following the same
template and thus appearing alike...not that I'm complaining.<br />
<br />
5.
F&B establishments cater to smokers and/or non-smokers But I don't
think anyone has looked into the health effects of secondhand smoke on
the poor non-smoking wait staff.</div>
winstonchongsingaporehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10049068803842850535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965225186346435999.post-70023086335392642152016-11-21T17:32:00.002+08:002016-11-21T17:49:59.161+08:00Winston's running equation<span style="font-size: large;">weekend long run + chips binge = happiness</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;">Happiness + guilt = Monday evening run </span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />winstonchongsingaporehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10049068803842850535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965225186346435999.post-51553296840640467362016-11-09T22:07:00.001+08:002016-11-09T22:07:40.597+08:00Feeling blue in a sea of red as the world fades to black winstonchongsingaporehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10049068803842850535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965225186346435999.post-12829076678742781662016-09-08T08:58:00.002+08:002016-09-08T08:58:52.382+08:00Bitchy whoreFilipino president Duterte scolded his American counterpart Obama using
the Tagalog expression "putang ina" which can mean "son of a whore" or
"son of a bitch". To me, these two words are never interchangeable. If
you are dealing with a whore, you are looking for a good time; pay to
drop your pants and will always get a happy ending. If you have a bitch
on your hand, there's never a good time; pray you wouldn't lose your
pants, and you'd be happy when it all ends.<br />
<br />
<br />winstonchongsingaporehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10049068803842850535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965225186346435999.post-21452395519529854042016-08-13T10:47:00.000+08:002016-08-13T10:57:52.909+08:005039<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8loqXbRtg_Z5DqZANtBMOLRtcRbAfvYyiucFQCO69hAeIwRk-H_gs1OtBQQUAKBTqZhQ9DMvib451TNwudR2ehSO0TOkYyL7dOXsl64Xb4vzfiw41aQyW4sRZkMsttgNFvuhYdevL_m8/s1600/CptHZ1CUsAAmCpg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8loqXbRtg_Z5DqZANtBMOLRtcRbAfvYyiucFQCO69hAeIwRk-H_gs1OtBQQUAKBTqZhQ9DMvib451TNwudR2ehSO0TOkYyL7dOXsl64Xb4vzfiw41aQyW4sRZkMsttgNFvuhYdevL_m8/s400/CptHZ1CUsAAmCpg.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Let me predict what would happen from Joseph Schooling's historic Olympics gold medal win in 100m Butterfly event:<br />
1. 5039 (timing of 50.39sec) will be the hottest 4D number and Joseph's latest tattoo.<br />
2. The 50.39sec clip will be played 5,039 times per hour for the next 5.039 days.<br />
3. Singapore's first Olympics silver medalist weightlifter Tan Howe
Liang will heave a sigh of relief lasting 50.39sec when the media can
finally leave him alone every 4 years for interviews.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />winstonchongsingaporehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10049068803842850535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965225186346435999.post-35047906395885980232016-08-11T10:42:00.000+08:002016-08-11T12:24:07.082+08:00Pokemon Oh! <div dir="ltr">
There are 2 groups of people in the world now: Pokemon Go and Pokemon Go-To-Hell.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;">
*****</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Nine out of 10 teenagers standing in the middle of nowhere swiping their
phones are playing Pokemon Go. The solitary teen is busy downloading
the game.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="text-align: center;"> *****</span><br />
<span style="text-align: center;"><br /></span>
On Pokemon Go I attained the highest level of enlightenment and ultimate
power by performing the following function no players have ever done
before! Click on the app> drag to uninstall> press 'OK'.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
winstonchongsingaporehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10049068803842850535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965225186346435999.post-60300249488586055022016-08-11T10:41:00.003+08:002016-08-11T10:41:44.378+08:00Déjà vu <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik5dMUmFujCKr0h8Dx4mnL_XFbmNeROqkyJqjCtGH9SlV-5CgRFmi1T4L_XaFYs2sOXGCcacr6fQFXREuBWGx81UhFErs0MqKm7iI9eS5i3VHlq6OT9vaD4o_9A849u3ib9xzVxIX6ZhE/s1600/13895298_10153981748226374_667356895101464555_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="368" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik5dMUmFujCKr0h8Dx4mnL_XFbmNeROqkyJqjCtGH9SlV-5CgRFmi1T4L_XaFYs2sOXGCcacr6fQFXREuBWGx81UhFErs0MqKm7iI9eS5i3VHlq6OT9vaD4o_9A849u3ib9xzVxIX6ZhE/s400/13895298_10153981748226374_667356895101464555_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span aria-live="polite" class="fbPhotosPhotoCaption" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" tabindex="0"><br /></span>
<span aria-live="polite" class="fbPhotosPhotoCaption" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" tabindex="0"><br /></span>
<span aria-live="polite" class="fbPhotosPhotoCaption" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id="fbPhotoSnowliftCaption" tabindex="0">Straits
Times by publishing the same piece of news twice today in two sections
(Home and Sports), is doing a good job in explaining the local term
"double confirm", and giving readers a taste of how 'repeat telecast'
will look like in print.</span>winstonchongsingaporehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10049068803842850535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965225186346435999.post-53128513494295439742016-08-02T17:13:00.003+08:002016-08-02T17:13:50.754+08:00My moraleWorking in my new office complex is affecting my morale. Every day at
lunchtime and when I finish work, when I'm taking the lift, I'll hear
the Voice saying "Going down", which seems to suggest how my career will
pan out. As if it is not enough, the Voice will add "Doors are
closing", telling me my options are getting fewer and time is running
out. Sigh.winstonchongsingaporehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10049068803842850535noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4965225186346435999.post-20177372987288751542016-08-01T10:19:00.002+08:002016-08-30T16:06:06.521+08:00Time is precious<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9S9glqL1yyC0yIsnu-LbFrxYc1NYM1QsvVB8729Xnu-U2t624mB9BqRy9-MrO4Uhb7EMZPx8QV1liLHCwOTmIPRXmgbCahjGRmzKEHlzdiGUCltCjQpQDept-GLLkkCsPAif22_yu25Y/s1600/13892168_10153953506006374_5472525718753881185_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="251" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9S9glqL1yyC0yIsnu-LbFrxYc1NYM1QsvVB8729Xnu-U2t624mB9BqRy9-MrO4Uhb7EMZPx8QV1liLHCwOTmIPRXmgbCahjGRmzKEHlzdiGUCltCjQpQDept-GLLkkCsPAif22_yu25Y/s320/13892168_10153953506006374_5472525718753881185_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span aria-live="polite" class="fbPhotosPhotoCaption" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" tabindex="0"><br /></span>
<span aria-live="polite" class="fbPhotosPhotoCaption" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}" id="fbPhotoSnowliftCaption" tabindex="0">Time
is precious hence losing even a second feels painful. On the other
hands, I still have my minutes and hours to cherish and I should stop
clocking anymore time puns on my blog and have more facetime with my
loved ones instead.</span><br />
<div class="pts fbPhotoProductsTagList" id="fbPhotoSnowliftProductsTagList">
</div>
winstonchongsingaporehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10049068803842850535noreply@blogger.com0