All in a day's work in Singapore - real-life office stories as told to me (part 2)

"I've not spoken to my colleague for a month. Not that we are having a cold war, just that my Mum reminded me it is rude to interrupt."

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"Not speaking doesn't mean mute; not looking doesn't mean blind; not hearing doesn't mean deaf. Knowing the difference will separate the smart ones from the smart alecs."

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"One's true colours will show after they leave the organisation and stop being your colleague. Either you gain a Best Friend Forever or you award that person with a Best Acting Award."

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Weirdos 

"In my course of work, I come into contact with lots of weirdos and their outrageous email requests. And if I fail to deliver, they will threaten to bring the matter to higher authority. I often pity the company that employ them. In which case, I blame my HR dept for not opening their eyes big enough during the interview sessions."

Small talk

"Don't ever try to make small talk in the toilet. Having a conversation with your co-worker accompanied with a background music soundtrack of farts and pee tinkle with your fly open or your pants down doesn't look professional. Moreover, it is in a location where you try to limit your breathing to as little as humanly possible. No need to open your mouth, a simple smile or a nod would suffice."

Irate caller

Had a rough day at work and the last thing I needed was a phone call from an irate caller who managed to get my direct line and complained about the bad TV shows and launched into a personal attack that I'm as "lousy" as the TV station that I'm working in. Maintaining my utmost professionalism, I replied to this elderly lady that I'll convey her feedback to my CEO. And I ended the conversation by saying "Yes, I'll be back for dinner tonight Mum."

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My sick blog post

It is on days like today when I'm sickly pale and green when I think that it is actually not a bad idea for men to have the ability to add some colours with blusher and lipstick to brighten up the mood. Maybe it is just my drowsy medicine talking.

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Turning up for work today armed with a medical certificate is like having the proverbial 免死金牌 Death Exemption Medallion. Nobody will dare to give you any work and you can finish the necessary tasks on hand and leave in peace. Though I can't be accused of passing the buck, I'll be passing my germs around to spread the luuuve.

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After a week's suffering of blocked nose and not able to fully savour the food I ate, I realised I'm on the road to recovery when I took a deep breath in the packed toilet in my company this morning.

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I'm quite embarrassed to note that during the period that I was sick, whenever I looked down, I can see how tiny it has shrunk. No amount of sensual coaxing from my wife was able to excite it and make it large like it usually is. Don't worry tummy, I'm sure my voracious appetite will be back in no time.  

 

Read newspaper for your daily serendipity

The best formula for digital natives and immigrants to lead a life most enchanted

If you are reading this on newsprint with ink-smudged fingers, give yourself a pat on the back. For those staring at the words on a screen, stop taking the blue pill for today and leave the ‘blissful ignorance of illusion’.In the seminal 1999 science-fiction movie The Matrix where humans are living in a simulated reality, hero Neo swallowed the red pill instead of the blue one, and faced the ‘painful truth of reality’.

I would argue that unlike the deceived people in the film, we willingly put on our rose-tinted glasses and live our lives in a cocoon of our fabricated reality aided by our highly personalised media consumption.

With cable TV offering 24-hour niche programming to online curated sites, social media and forums, it is a very tantalising thought of only consuming the content that appeal to you like entertainment or sports for example. Who wouldn’t want to be submerged in the seductive world of K-pop or the adrenaline rush of English premier league soccer day in day out if it makes them happy?

When like-minded folks congregate, tribes are formed both in the real world and online. They in turn create echo chambers which reinforce their mentality and behaviour, much to the detrimental to their personal growth and the advancement of society. While one may be deemed an expert with deep knowledge in his/her field, without broad understanding of other disciplines, actions and decisions made would often be flawed.

Whether we like it or not, that is how our media have evolved in order to attract our eyeballs and stickiness by overwhelming us with as much as what we desire and none of those we dislike. That includes all media except newspaper.

The inability for the oldest medium to offer much personalisation like how its younger brethren: radio, TV and Internet have done so marvellously well, is perhaps the only reason why it excels in preserving the one quality none of the latter offers – serendipity.