Words of wisdom (part 4)

Better
For women who want to have a bigger bust, you just need to have a smaller waistline. For men who want to look taller, you just need to surround yourself with shorter buddies. For all who want to look smarter than the rest, just encourage them to blabber non-stop and see them dig a hole for themselves.

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Wrong

There are now two high profile court cases where men paid a high price for saying the wrong things on the wrong people. Hence I've always try to say the right thing to the right person all the time - "you are not fat, honey"

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Talk

In order not to mess things up, we are told to talk about anything but religion and politics. In order to spice things up with your buddies, you don't need to be told you should talk about nothing but religion and politics.

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Life

Life's a bitch when you realised that those models in cosmetics and lingerie advertisements will still look good without the product. But those in skin-care and slimming ads that appear in the 'Before' photos look like they really need lots of help from the product.

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 ???

Why? Why ask?
Ask? Ask who?
Who? Who gives a shit?
Shit? Shit is the only constant in life, and it will happen.

More Words of Wisdom 

 

Best of 'Words of Wisdom'

Note: I'm doing a 'best of' compilation as I'm entering the Singapore Blog Awards 2015 and need to submit 'three recommended blog posts' as part of the criteria. This post is one of them.

Mighty
Since the dawn of time, we wield the sword, only to find the pen to be mightier in dealing with our adversary. But both are no match to the most powerful tool one can hold in our hands to end all conflicts- an olive branch. 

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Wardrobe
Those desire a wardrobe of plunging neckline and a raising hemline shouldn't match them with an expanding waistline.

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Email
The success of a complaint email invariably lies not who the email is attention TO. The Sender just need to put the recipient's worst nightmares in the CC. 

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 Feelings

Those who said "No hard feelings" to you are usually the ones who have wronged you and wanted to extend an olive branch. Someone said that to me today and so I'm trying very hard not to have any feelings towards this person.

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Senses
Best Taste – Anything cooked with love from your kitchen.
Best Sight – Your spouse drooling on the pillow while sleeping.
Best Sound – Your mum’s voice on the overseas call reminding you to wear and eat more.
Best Touch – Soothing tummy rub for your cat/dog (Non-pet-owners to replace pets with kids)
Best Smell – Your blanket after more than 3 months of daily usage. (6 months and above for best effect)

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:)
To have a frown-free day ahead, you don't need to wear your power-suit or your most alluring perfume. You just need to wear a smile. However, the most effortless item one can have with them is often left behind at home before they go to work each morning, and only realised what they have forgotten when they saw it on the faces of others.

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Shopping
Why do women like shopping so much?
Isn't shopping a waste of time and energy?
What is there to gain from all these shopping?
For clueless men who don't know how women think, just replace "shopping" with "football" and everything will be clear. This comes from someone who has attained enlightenment after years of undergoing retail-therapy.

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Pirates

We are used to looking at online piracy from the viewpoint of the downloaders. We should shine the spotlight on the magnanimous uploaders instead. They provide a buffet spread of content like movies, TV shows, books, software and songs online for everyone to download for FREE and asking neither fame nor fortune in return. They should be hailed, not jailed.

  *****

Life

> If we want peace and love in our lives, we have to take the effort to make them, preferably on a daily basis ;P

>I know of someone who likes to meddle in everything but no one appreciates. I would recommend everyone to take sometime to do absolutely nothing which your body and mind would certainly appreciate.

>I've learnt that when you have your loved ones by your side, no matter where in the world or what you are doing, it is never a waste of time.

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Here are my lines for today.
Why do I bother standing in line every morning at the train station to reach my workstation just to clear my projects before my deadline? Why am I asked to think out of the box but never to cross the line? Am I destined to be stuck in this production line in my life until I reach my finishing line? I tried calling the helpline for answers but it was offline. The bottom line is that I'm gonna get lines around my eyes and forehead sooner than later. I might as well acquire laugh lines along the way.

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Instagrope:
the act by your friend to forcefully take your mobile phone so that she can add her Instagram account to your followed list. Eg- I was instagroped during a gathering and was persuaded to like my friend's latest shots.

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 Pee
Casual chit-chat at the urinals should be banned since no man can multitask. If we start talking while holding on to our family jewel, we wouldn't be able to aim straight and we will wet ourselves. And if we have eye-contact with the other guy, we will inadvertently glance downwards at their package and compare with ours. Nobody fancy talking to their boss with their pants down right?

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Guru
There's no need to buy any self-help books or pay to listen to a life guru sprouting words of wisdom when they are staring at us all the time. For the procrastinators: Just Do It; the defeatists: Impossible is Nothing; the marketeers: Think Different; for the workaholics: Have a Break, Have a Kit Kat. Life's Great with these caring companies and I'm Lovin' It!

Words of Wisdom (Part 3)

Here are my lines for today.
Why do I bother standing in line every morning at the train station to reach my workstation just to clear my projects before my deadline? Why am I asked to think out of the box but never to cross the line? Am I destined to be stuck in this production line in my life until I reach my finishing line? I tried calling the helpline for answers but it was offline. The bottom line is that I'm gonna get lines around my eyes and forehead sooner than later. I might as well acquire laugh lines along the way.

*****

Instagrope:
the act by your friend to forcefully take your mobile phone so that she can add her Instagram account to your followed list. Eg- I was instagroped during a gathering and was persuaded to like my friend's latest shots.

*****

 Pee
Casual chit-chat at the urinals should be banned since no man can multitask. If we start talking while holding on to our family jewel, we wouldn't be able to aim straight and we will wet ourselves. And if we have eye-contact with the other guy, we will inadvertently glance downwards at their package and compare with ours. Nobody fancy talking to their boss with their pants down right?

*****

Guru
There's no need to buy any self-help books or pay to listen to a life guru sprouting words of wisdom when they are staring at us all the time. For the procrastinators: Just Do It; the defeatists: Impossible is Nothing; the marketeers: Think Different; for the workaholics: Have a Break, Have a Kit Kat. Life's Great with these caring companies and I'm Lovin' It!

 *****

Happy Birthday
Come to think of it, we shouldn't just hope to have a 'happy birthday' which is at a pathetic 0.3% return rate a year. We should all wish for a 'Happy Everyday' and have a blast all year round.

*****

Usual locations of common items arranged from the nearest to the furthest:
Info - at your fingertips
Your nemesis - under your skin
Ballpark figure - top of your head
Your well-conceived plan - down the drain
That thing you are looking for - last place you'd look
That email you sent your boss last week - black hole

More Words of Wisdom

Master post - Words of Wisdom

Part 4

Part 3

Part 2

Part 1

Words of wisdom (Part 2)

Senses

Best Taste – Anything cooked with love from your kitchen.
Best Sight – Your spouse drooling on the pillow while sleeping.
Best Sound – Your mum’s voice on the overseas call reminding you to wear and eat more.
Best Touch – Soothing tummy rub for your cat/dog (Non-pet-owners to replace pets with kids)
Best Smell – Your blanket after more than 3 months of daily usage. (6 months and above for best effect)

 :)

To have a frown-free day ahead, you don't need to wear your power-suit or your most alluring perfume. You just need to wear a smile. However, the most effortless item one can have with them is often left behind at home before they go to work each morning, and only realised what they have forgotten when they saw it on the faces of others.

Shopping

Why do women like shopping so much?
Isn't shopping a waste of time and energy?
What is there to gain from all these shopping?
For clueless men who don't know how women think, just replace "shopping" with "football" and everything will be clear. This comes from someone who has attained enlightenment after years of undergoing retail-therapy.

Pirates

We are used to looking at online piracy from the viewpoint of the downloaders. We should shine the spotlight on the magnanimous uploaders instead. They provide a buffet spread of content like movies, TV shows, books, software and songs online for everyone to download for FREE and asking neither fame nor fortune in return. They should be hailed, not jailed.

Life

If we want peace and love in our lives, we have to take the effort to make them, preferably on a daily basis ;P

 *****

I know of someone who likes to meddle in everything but no one appreciates. I would recommend everyone to take sometime to do absolutely nothing which your body and mind would certainly appreciate.

*****

I've learnt that when you have your loved ones by your side, no matter where in the world or what you are doing, it is never a waste of time.

More Words of Wisdom

Words of Wisdom (part 1)

Since the dawn of time, we wield the sword, only to find the pen to be mightier in dealing with our adversary. But both are no match to the most powerful tool one can hold in our hands to end all conflicts- an olive branch. 

*****

Those desire a wardrobe of plunging neckline and a raising hemline shouldn't match them with an expanding waistline.

*****

Everything can be found online. If you can't find it now, it is either removed and will be back online in the future, or you are just not tech-savvy enough to find your way around in cyberspace.

*****

The success of a complaint email invariably lies not who the email is attention TO. The Sender just need to put the recipient's worst nightmares in the CC. 

  *****

Those who said "No hard feelings" to you are usually the ones who have wronged you and wanted to extend an olive branch. Someone said that to me today and so I'm trying very hard not to have any feelings towards this person.

More Words of Wisdom

An alternative look at 20 advertising slogans

Advertising slogans serve to push the company's products and services into the hearts and minds of their target customers just enough for them to open their wallets. Here's my personal take on 20 famous words of wisdom coined over the decades, and my attempt to decipher their actual meanings.