Train rides are fun (part 2)

 

When official signage (as opposed to ads) start to appear on the ground, it is not in response to an ageing society of crooked backs and low eye level. It is to cater to a new generation of screen addicts (低头族) who have forgotten the colour of the sky.

The civic-minded train passengers like me will queue up diligently at the platform by the side of the door. But there are always those sneaky ones who will cut queue and rush in when the door opens. Years of watching soccer has taught me defensive manoeuvres and man-marking tactics to ensure that I don't let in an early goal without a fight! 

*****

Our bodies pressed against each other, while she breathed on my chest. Her perfume lingered even at the end of the day. I'm blushing just starring at her. How I HATE squeezing into a packed train at rush hour like sardines on my way home, standing next to an old woman with pungent perfume and bad breath! 

*****

A pint-sized granny sat next to me on the train today and immediately assumed the self-appointed role of 'Life Guru' scrutinising the fellow commuters around her. She pointed to one lad's 'improper way' of holding the hand strap which could lead to 'dislocation of the wrist', and discreetly to another girl to inform her of her peeking bra strap. By then I had immediately sucked in my gut, half-expecting her to poke her finger into my love handles and proclaimed to the train "Ah boy, too fat!". Luckily I've arrived at my stop.

*****

My rush hour commute in a packed train is like visiting a Chinese temple where rows upon rows of imposing and immobile buddhas, deities and door gods materialise around me. And when I need to exit, I have to squeeze past them with whispers of "excuse me" or "sorry" to get their blessings. And you'll be cursed for life if you ever bump or step on them. Maybe I should have an incense stick on hand to pay my respect the next time, and the statues will give me a wide berth on my way out of the train. 

*****

I observed with much amusement at the train ticket office lady counting her stack of ten $5 notes a whopping five times. Two times is being meticulous with three pushing it, and five times is just plain OCD. Same as the guy who counted in his mind five times with the lady in order to make this observation. 

Train Rides are fun (Part 1) 

 

Train rides are fun! (part 1)

iPad = iNanny, Mother = iHelper, Boy = iSlave.

Definition of hell:

Going home for dinner after a long tiring and hungry day at work, seated in the cold train sandwiched between two people who ordered takeaways from McDonald's and KFC respectively.

Game on

On a crowded MRT train, instead of burying your head playing Candy Crush, I encourage all to watch the Grab A Seat game LIVE between pesky plump aunties and foreign workers. Over the years, I've met formidable rivals who displayed smooth leg shuffling manoeuvres and lightning quick buttock reflexes that put musical chairs champions to shame. I'd also hope everyone can hone their skills so that if they eventually grabbed a seat, they can give the prize to someone who truly deserves it like the elderly and expectant mothers.

Ventriloquist

We are all ventriloquists with the ability to project sound not through our mouths. Everyone will perform anywhere, anytime either with a shout or a whimper, when deep feelings build up inside us. When an anonymous performer gave a silent recital in a crowded air-con train, you can immediately feel the intensity and passion of this person. This virtuoso might even give an impromptu encore overwhelming the audience with cathartic emotions. That's when I usually pass out.

Hand counter

There are always interesting characters on the train like this pot-bellied Chinese man who is always seen with a hand counter. Looking at his discreet muttering, I can only guess he is reciting some religious scriptures to fulfill his daily quota. Or perhaps, he could be tracking the number of farts and body odour detected? With a high frequency of a click per minute, that might be true. And it would also explain his swearing under his breath.

Reading newspapers

When I've finished reading the two free newspapers TODAY and My Paper during my morning commute, it is tough for me to recycle. Leave it in the MRT train like what is practiced in London and be accused of littering? Or hand it back to a fellow commuter or the newspaper dispatcher and get a weird look? For others in the same predicament, I'll suggest recycling it by rolling the paper into a tube in a crowded train and poke your way out from immobile statues blocking at the door.

To the middle-aged woman on the crowded train:

I wasn't staring at you nor do I find you pretty. I was ogling at the cute girl seated behind you in my zombie state when you board the train and blocked my view!

Train rides are fun (part 2)

 

24 MRT stations to pilot free Wi-Fi service

Shouldn't all good transport systems strive to ferry passengers from Point A to B in the shortest time possible and not introduce features that will create more congestion? Will I see armies of retirees with their tablets invading the platforms and streaming their K-Dramas, adding noise pollution to the mix?

TODAYonline news story