Merry Xmas...oh crap

Giving Xmas presents is like shitting. It takes some effort for people to get it out in a day or a few. And once it leaves you, you don't talk about it at all, to anyone, ever, unless people talked to you about it first.

*******

Tis the season when you will love and quickly hate the sound of sleigh bells everywhere and in your head.

Synchronised swimming

Synchronised swimming should be re-categorised under Performance Gymnastics rather than Swimming with the 'aquatic dancers' flashing their mega-watt smiles while other athletes can only muster constipated frowns and animal grunts. Since their training also involve the eye-catching application of waterproof make-up, the final score should also reflect it.

Ravens are good

I would love to live in the Game of Thrones universe. Their raven message delivery system span vast swathes of land but still reach their intended recipients all the time - sealed and secured. Your email sent at light speed, to another colleague located a few feet away, would probably sit in the inbox till winter has come.

May the Fourth...well, you know the rest.

Tight butts

Wife: Do we have tight butts?
Me: Not sure about you, but I confirmed have.
W: Why can't I have yours?
M: Not easy, must work on it.
W: I can just buy what!
M: You very rich and lazy.
W: What you talking? Can get very easy in shopping mall, Chinatown might even be cheaper.

(That's when I realised she is asking about Thai Baht and not tight butts.)

The dark side

There are seedy places here that the powers that be, would rather they remain in the dark, literally. Whenever I have my primal needs in the wee hours, I would try to fight my urges so as to avoid the unsavory characters that rule the night. So instead of going to the kitchen for water at midnight and come face to face with lizards and roaches, I've placed a glass next to my bed before I sleep.

Stay United

Nothing can forcibly tear me away from United - a brand that I've loved over the decades. I'm sure they will fly again from their latest setback and we fans should rally behind Jose. We are talking about the same United right?

This Singapore nerd's musings on himself (part 12 photo journal)

 

I sorry I shouldn't have probed. It is tough for people with split personality to find work. Kudos to Samsung for employing them.

The Police should update this theft prevention placard since no smart thief would dress so conspicuously like a character from the Grease musical stealing 2-inch thick antique laptop and mobile phone with protruding antenna.

While most companies embrace diversity, it is refreshing to see a brand still dishing out their One product. You just need to say 2 words to order: quantity and dine/takeaway. Don't be an idiot and utter the product name.

The most perplexing sight I saw during my jungle hike. The type of gloves you use are to protect you from pointy stuff like branches and rocks, not the kind you use to keep your hands clean from eating fried chicken.

I can never understand why people can watch a movie on a screen the size of a postage stamp, when you can enlarge the size to a dollar bill with just a flick of your wrist. I was so tempted to flip the phone for this foreign worker but he has dozed off and I've reached my stop.

Click for More musings on myself. 

I'm all for the Beauty of an inclusive society and against the Beasts who opposed it

96 hours

With perseverance and patience, great things can happen to anyone. After 96 hours of anguish, I finally receive my reward - Friday is here.

Fowl Play

The best Year of the Rooster ad campaigns should showcase something more palatable rather than huggable. Instead of cute chick plushies, think roast chicken. Aren't we taught not to play with our food?

*****

In the Year of the Rooster, I hope people will talk fewer cocks, engage in lesser fowl play and may we finally discover why it crossed the road.

Happy fucking new year

For something already bad, adding more will only make it worse. Just remember that 2017 is 2016 plus 1.