Musings on my mother

 

Mum preparing dinner

The guru

I realised I've been living with a great public relations guru under the same roof all these years. My Mum will reply to any questions that I'm asking with her prepared statements and if my queries don't fit her agenda, she will steer me towards that direction and I'll fall into her trap. Hmm...isn't that how all governments are treating their reporters? Civil servants please contact me for a quotation for a one-on-one lesson with my guru.

The shopper

My Mum's favourite 'brands' when she's doing her grocery shopping are 'Special Offer', 'Buy 1 Get 1 Free' and 'While Stocks Last'. Incidentally, those are mine as well. We are very loyal customers.

The fortune-teller

When I was little, my Mum always instructed me to finish each meal to the last grain of rice so that my future bride will have a complexion as clean as my empty bowl. Now that I'm married, I make sure there's a bit of leftover in my bowl, so that people know I don't keep a mistress on the side.

The grandma wannabe

Contrary to the local male actor who is embroiled in a love-child scandal, my grandchildren-crazy Mum will welcome any woman standing at our front-door with a kid that she claims has my genes - DNA test optional. If that day ever arrives, that woman better be Yoona from Girls' Generation.