While guys like me approaching the big Four-Oh aspire to be a 'hunkle' (Hunky uncle), most likely I'll just turn out to be a 'funkle' (fatty uncle). But since I don't have any nephews or nieces, technically I wouldn't get to be a bona fide uncle, so I'll just go straight from being a nerd to Dirty Old Man.
*****
I know that Facebook/personal blog can be a depressing place where you hate-read your
friend's updates on their perfect life and their even more perfect meal.
Allow me to reveal some nasty things about myself so you will feel
better about yourself. I'm a bad liar, a horrible MCP and I'm a big
failure in mastering any of those seven sins.
*****
I belong to a minority group that I keep a low profile to maintain
harmony amongst my fellow Singaporeans. Should they become aware of what
I believe in, they would treat me like a pariah, or worse, try to
convert me into their brethren. But till the day I die, I'd still
believe that you don't need to put chilli in every Singaporean cuisine!
*****
The government knows my identity card number and my blood type; my telco
tracks my surfing habits and the places I go, and my credit card keeps a
record of my purchases and my salary. The entity that knows all that
info will have you eating out of its hand. Take heed from this victim
and secure your data from your wife.
*****
I can always rely on my bros to circulate juicy pics and vids of women
that form my wildest dreams and send my heart pounding. And I have to
thank my wonderful wife for sending queasy stuffs from the other end of
the spectrum beyond my worst nightmare and send my libido crashing.
*****
In most days, I'm having a ball of a time at work. But on occasions when
someone doesn't play ball and drop the ball, am I supposed to pick it
up and keep the ball rolling? Most likely, I'll end up as the ball being
kicked around and invariably find myself in my own goal-post, having
scored an own goal in the process.
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