Feeling blue in a sea of red as the world fades to black

Bitchy whore

Filipino president Duterte scolded his American counterpart Obama using the Tagalog expression "putang ina" which can mean "son of a whore" or "son of a bitch". To me, these two words are never interchangeable. If you are dealing with a whore, you are looking for a good time; pay to drop your pants and will always get a happy ending. If you have a bitch on your hand, there's never a good time; pray you wouldn't lose your pants, and you'd be happy when it all ends.

5039

Let me predict what would happen from Joseph Schooling's historic Olympics gold medal win in 100m Butterfly event:
1. 5039 (timing of 50.39sec) will be the hottest 4D number and Joseph's latest tattoo.
2. The 50.39sec clip will be played 5,039 times per hour for the next 5.039 days.
3. Singapore's first Olympics silver medalist weightlifter Tan Howe Liang will heave a sigh of relief lasting 50.39sec when the media can finally leave him alone every 4 years for interviews.

Pokemon Oh!

There are 2 groups of people in the world now: Pokemon Go and Pokemon Go-To-Hell.

*****

Nine out of 10 teenagers standing in the middle of nowhere swiping their phones are playing Pokemon Go. The solitary teen is busy downloading the game.


                                                                        *****

On Pokemon Go I attained the highest level of enlightenment and ultimate power by performing the following function no players have ever done before! Click on the app> drag to uninstall> press 'OK'.

Déjà vu

Straits Times by publishing the same piece of news twice today in two sections (Home and Sports), is doing a good job in explaining the local term "double confirm", and giving readers a taste of how 'repeat telecast' will look like in print.

My morale

Working in my new office complex is affecting my morale. Every day at lunchtime and when I finish work, when I'm taking the lift, I'll hear the Voice saying "Going down", which seems to suggest how my career will pan out. As if it is not enough, the Voice will add "Doors are closing", telling me my options are getting fewer and time is running out. Sigh.

Time is precious

Time is precious hence losing even a second feels painful. On the other hands, I still have my minutes and hours to cherish and I should stop clocking anymore time puns on my blog and have more facetime with my loved ones instead.

Last evening

Last evening, a tall slim woman whispered to me "Want to have a good time?" and slipped a pill to me. In a moment of folly, I swallowed it and immediately felt light-headed. The next thing I knew, I was laying on the bed with her next to me. What have I done?! Oh, I took the sleep-inducing flu tablet and I feel great this morning! Thanks wifey!

Get to know me

I'm proud to say that I'm charismatic, humorous, intelligent, and still shy to admit that I'm the perfect gentleman. Oh, by the way, I'm also an incorrigible liar.

Wireless

Wow! 'Wireless'! Didn't know Uniqlo is into wearable technology. I couldn't find a similar model in the men's section though. I think there's gender discrimination here.