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1. Porn : there are loads of online sexperts providing an excellent hand-y job in this area already.   2. Personal porn : you can hav...

Monday, 13 October 2014

This Singapore nerd's musings on himself (part 4)

Too proud to beg,
Too dumb to steal,
Too shy to ask,
Too stiff to learn,
Too meek to reject,
Too smart to admit any of that

I don't go into discussions about whether I see my proverbial cup as half-empty or half-full. Because I always make sure my cup is overflowing at all times...with ice-cold beer. When I'm at play, it will be quench my thirst. When I'm at work, it will be dumped on those idiots who step on my toes, which I constantly need refilling!


A senior and longtime middle-aged female colleague had this weird notion that I'm still single and wanted to intro a 'sweet girl with inner beauty' to me. While the identity of this girl will forever be a mystery, it is a bigger puzzle why my colleague thinks I make a good partner when my wife has been trying hard to seek a refund for this product that has grown bigger and softer. She should know that returned goods can only be accepted in its original state and unused.


A good colleague used the 'F- word' on me today in front of others. I couldn't believe my ears that she would use such obscene language. But after my initial outrage subsided, I have to agree that I've grown fat.


Planned obsolescence is a despicable strategy employed by tech giants to force you to 'upgrade' to their latest gadgets after only a few good years of usage. I discovered this practice has infiltrated the fashion industry as well, since my pants bought within the last two years all shrank at the same time now!

More musings on myself. 



Thursday, 2 October 2014

9 things I learnt in Seoul after 6 days or how I 'start to stop the keeping warm jar'

I think Japanese are friendlier.

1. Despite the plethora of skin-care boutiques, not all Koreans are blessed with glowing complexion, and it makes you wonder about the effectiveness of those face masks.

2. Real Koreans have single eyelid. Those with double eyelids are happy customers from the dozens of cosmetic surgery clinics that lined the boulevards.

3. There are few eye candies that caught my eyes. The cosmetically enhanced ones are already in K-Pop bands, TV dramas and movies. Tourists can see the real Koreans by visiting the country.

4. Major shopping districts will have multiple shops from the same brand. So it is highly encouraged to have a 30mins cooling-off period and you can make the actual purchases in the next branch within 100m away.

5. Shops here are using K-stars on billboards and blasting K-Pop tunes just like any other countries around the world. Hence even though I'm at the K-Wave country of origin, it doesn't make it any magical or special.

6. There are more coffee houses than traffic lights. Apparently, the country is addicted to caffeine.

7. Based on my totally unscientific findings from my interactions with the Koreans, their level of English proficiency has flat-lined or taken a dip since I was here 9 years ago. And the amount of typos and nonsensical English on t-shirts and ads have risen.

I'm still trying to decode what 'Start to stop the keeping warm jar' means and what's in the jar.

8. Almost all TV and display screens in shopping malls and subway stations are in glorious HD, which made even inane gameshows and commercials a joy to watch. And quite a few TV addicts even fixed an antenna to their mobile phones to watch TV on the go.

9. Though Korea has emerged from the shadow of its coloniser in economy and soft power, their service standard still pale in comparison to Japan by leaps and bounds.