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Tuesday 23 December 2014

All in a day's work in Singapore - real-life office stories as told to me (Part 8)



"When you are the source of misery at the workplace, it is always good to be humble and apologise with something like "I'm sorry you didn't bother to read my email"; or "I'm sorry you are the only one who couldn't understand my simple step-by-step guide". If you find yourself apologising frequently, it's time to dig up your CV. And you can thank me for that."

*****
"We always wear a mask at work whether we like it or not. I'm so glad to finally found someone who knows her way around the company whom I can confide in. I poured my heart out to her while she listened attentively without interrupting. And when I finished my piece, she whispered "meow", licked her paw and darted into the drain."
 ***** 

"I'm paid to be a spin doctor and I'm loving it! Maybe I'll go to hell for that. And if that's the case, I'll submit my CV to Satan and help reverse the bad press that Hell has been getting for millennia, and I'm pretty sure I'll see some familiar faces."


***** 
"I forgave the new flamboyant department honcho who totally ignored my presence and my friendly smile when I bumped into him, since his gaze was fixated at my pretty female colleague walking next to me. I would also ignore all fat nerds on the streets and look at their companions in envy or sympathy."

***** 

"My colleague's car freshener scent smell exactly like the office toilet. Now whenever I'm in his car, I feel like peeing."

*****  


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