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1. Porn : there are loads of online sexperts providing an excellent hand-y job in this area already.   2. Personal porn : you can hav...

Friday, 28 April 2017

Tight butts

Wife: Do we have tight butts?
Me: Not sure about you, but I confirmed have.
W: Why can't I have yours?
M: Not easy, must work on it.
W: I can just buy what!
M: You very rich and lazy.
W: What you talking? Can get very easy in shopping mall, Chinatown might even be cheaper.

(That's when I realised she is asking about Thai Baht and not tight butts.)

Thursday, 27 April 2017

The dark side

There are seedy places here that the powers that be, would rather they remain in the dark, literally. Whenever I have my primal needs in the wee hours, I would try to fight my urges so as to avoid the unsavory characters that rule the night. So instead of going to the kitchen for water at midnight and come face to face with lizards and roaches, I've placed a glass next to my bed before I sleep.


Tuesday, 11 April 2017

Stay United

Nothing can forcibly tear me away from United - a brand that I've loved over the decades. I'm sure they will fly again from their latest setback and we fans should rally behind Jose. We are talking about the same United right?


Thursday, 30 March 2017

This Singapore nerd's musings on himself (part 12 photo journal)

 

I sorry I shouldn't have probed. It is tough for people with split personality to find work. Kudos to Samsung for employing them.





The Police should update this theft prevention placard since no smart thief would dress so conspicuously like a character from the Grease musical stealing 2-inch thick antique laptop and mobile phone with protruding antenna.


While most companies embrace diversity, it is refreshing to see a brand still dishing out their One product. You just need to say 2 words to order: quantity and dine/takeaway. Don't be an idiot and utter the product name.


The most perplexing sight I saw during my jungle hike. The type of gloves you use are to protect you from pointy stuff like branches and rocks, not the kind you use to keep your hands clean from eating fried chicken.

I can never understand why people can watch a movie on a screen the size of a postage stamp, when you can enlarge the size to a dollar bill with just a flick of your wrist. I was so tempted to flip the phone for this foreign worker but he has dozed off and I've reached my stop.


Click for More musings on myself. 


Friday, 24 February 2017

96 hours

With perseverance and patience, great things can happen to anyone. After 96 hours of anguish, I finally receive my reward - Friday is here.



Tuesday, 10 January 2017

Fowl Play

The best Year of the Rooster ad campaigns should showcase something more palatable rather than huggable. Instead of cute chick plushies, think roast chicken. Aren't we taught not to play with our food?

*****

In the Year of the Rooster, I hope people will talk fewer cocks, engage in lesser fowl play and may we finally discover why it crossed the road.



Sunday, 1 January 2017

Happy fucking new year

For something already bad, adding more will only make it worse. Just remember that 2017 is 2016 plus 1.

Sunday, 11 December 2016

Five things I've learnt during the 10-day Osaka-Kyoto trip:


1. You can still get food poisoning in a First World country like Japan if you are unlucky like me. Thus it is imperative to have insurance coverage and a flexible itinerary to make last-minute changes. 

2. All shopping malls and shops seemed to be using the same English CD of Xmas songs this December and I've heard the same Beatles Xmas song more than I can remember.

3. Osaka (and I believe the entire Japan consists of 2 worlds: above ground and underground. Not only can you go anywhere via the extensive underground train network, it is also possible to live your entire life not seeing the sun since everything under the sun is available under the ground.

4. We have all heard the saying that there are no ugly women, only lazy ones. I observed that all young Japanese girls are very hardworking following the same template and thus appearing alike...not that I'm complaining.

5. F&B establishments cater to smokers and/or non-smokers But I don't think anyone has looked into the health effects of secondhand smoke on the poor non-smoking wait staff.