Featured post

Pinned post: What you WOULDN'T find in this blog

1. Porn : there are loads of online sexperts providing an excellent hand-y job in this area already.   2. Personal porn : you can hav...

Friday, 19 June 2015

This Singapore nerd's musings on himself (part 8)

I know this day would come when my wife finally left me. The writings were on the wall since the past month but I was too blind to see. Despite much pleading, she still packed her suitcase and left at the crack of dawn so as not to create a scene. On the bright side, now I have the queen-size bed all to myself... at least for the next one week before the wifey returns from her Bangkok business trip.


Sleeping partner
When I sleep, I like to cuddle and feel the warmth and scent of my sleeping partner. There are days when I want to be left alone to get some snooze but still see a head resting on my shoulder despite gentle nudges. I was glad this fellow passenger alighted a few stops before me and I could have some moments of peace before the train reached my station.

I can swear that ‘Fuck’ is perhaps the most versatile word in the English language. It can express happiness (fucking sweet!), sadness (I fucked up!), anger(fuck off), surprise (fuck me), or just simply the act of having sex as a noun or verb in its root meaning. Today is complicated. So I’m feeling ‘What the fuck me up sweet’.

Bathroom scale
My old trusty analogue bathroom scale was beginning to show its age and gave the wrong reading lately with an extra 5kg. I decided to buy a new gleaming digital scale and it too gave the exact wrong reading! What are the odds!?


Movie character
When it comes to movie characters, the oldest that ever graced the silver screen could be the lovable yellow pills that called themselves the Minions, since they exist even before the dinosaurs more than 65million years ago. They are also indestructible immortals in the same league as Thor and other superheroes but without the ego and violent streak. I'd apply to be a Minions' minion in a heartbeat.

More musings on myself. 

Friday, 5 June 2015

Public service reminder to all SEA Games medallists

There's no need to bite your medal to tell the world you are not dreaming and this is real. We get it. May I remind you that if you chip a tooth while biting into the electroplated brass medal, your dental insurance might not cover deliberate munching on inedible items.

Wednesday, 3 June 2015

Advertisements in Singapore

Heroic copywriter for thinking out of the box in linking 'natural goodness' with the world's hardest rock for whatever reasons. Moronic for reminding potential customers that they are just wasting money buying lemons.


Naughty graphic designer with the strategically-placed fingers ready for the pinch in this naughty ad for naughty boys. And if it is not enough, the naughty-sounding interactive feature will surely do the trick. Take my money already! 


 The $190 savings in this coupon pamphlet is not worth the extra 190 mins on the running track I need to put in, should I ever decide to submit myself to the King.


 Brilliant ad by SilkAir/Changi Airport incorporating Singapore landmarks as part of a coral reef seascape. Once I spotted Marina Bay Sands, the rest were easy to decipher, like the ArtScience Museum, Gardens By The Bay, The Esplanade and Singapore Flyer. However, a friend thinks that the message is about global warming and rising sea levels. "See them before they go under..."

Monday, 1 June 2015

Five things I learnt on a day trip to Batam

Five things I learnt on a day trip to Batam
1. The movie actually starts playing in the cinema before the screening time without any commercials.
2. Watching a Hollywood movie in a modern cinema with good sound system cost less than US$10 for two persons with popcorn thrown in.
3. It is a smokers paradise where you can light up anywhere you like, even inside restaurants in shopping malls.
4. You can buy counterfeit branded bags and soccer jerseys openly but no pirated DVDs can be found.
5. There are two 'Polo' boutiques- the 'original' Polo Ralph Lauren and the homegrown Polo where the latter tried its best to make you think it is the former with zero regard to copyright infringement.

At Nagoya Hill Shopping Mall:
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right down to the logo font. I put the real McCoys below the pretenders for comparison.