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1. Porn : there are loads of online sexperts providing an excellent hand-y job in this area already.   2. Personal porn : you can hav...

Sunday, 30 November 2014

An unscientific look at Singapore hawker stall signboards

Singapore is without a doubt, a food paradise offering all kinds of cuisine to suit your palate. And our hawker centres are a good source for meals and snacks at affordable prices...at least for now.
Rather than joining the battalion of food bloggers and critique on the dishes, let me instead discuss the various types of stall signboards for a change. Needless to say, these signboards have absolutely no bearings to the food they serve, nor should you draw any conclusion for that matter.

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Friday, 21 November 2014

This Singapore nerd's musings on himself (part 5)

I was conned into buying five work shirts during my recent trip to Seoul but I was too embarrassed to admit. The swindlers were so smooth that I was sold even without them speaking a word! Hey people! Don't be like me. Remember that clothes worn by the mannequins will definitely look 10 times better than you can ever pull off.

Seven years can be a long time and I'm at the fork of the road to either continue with what I'm having or ditch the old and embrace the new. Hence I decided to step out and look at what the market has to offer and bought a new bolster.

The Missus kept complaining that mine is too short and she would much prefer a longer one which will give her more joy. After many heated quarrels from me arguing that size doesn't matter, I finally bought a longer micro USB cable for better mobility for her device while charging.

As I approach my big Four-Oh, I recall how this miserable wreck's life was transformed after I met my soul-mate some 14 years ago. Though it wasn't love at first sight, I've grown to be ever dependent as we became inseparable. Even in public places, I just couldn't stop myself cuddling and retreating into our own little world. There were days she would throw tantrums and become unresponsive. I just had to press the right buttons and her face would light up again. I know I'm getting mushy here but it is true that I just can't live without you. My dear mobile phone, you complete me.

We shouldn't judge a person based on their looks be it a resting niceface, bitchface or a pokerface. The Missus and I used to tease one fatface a lot even though we know he's quite a nice guy underneath the blubber. The wife promised to stop teasing me if I slimmed down.

More musings on myself. 



Wednesday, 19 November 2014

Words of Wisdom (Part 3)

Here are my lines for today.
Why do I bother standing in line every morning at the train station to reach my workstation just to clear my projects before my deadline? Why am I asked to think out of the box but never to cross the line? Am I destined to be stuck in this production line in my life until I reach my finishing line? I tried calling the helpline for answers but it was offline. The bottom line is that I'm gonna get lines around my eyes and forehead sooner than later. I might as well acquire laugh lines along the way.

the act by your friend to forcefully take your mobile phone so that she can add her Instagram account to your followed list. Eg- I was instagroped during a gathering and was persuaded to like my friend's latest shots.

Casual chit-chat at the urinals should be banned since no man can multitask. If we start talking while holding on to our family jewel, we wouldn't be able to aim straight and we will wet ourselves. And if we have eye-contact with the other guy, we will inadvertently glance downwards at their package and compare with ours. Nobody fancy talking to their boss with their pants down right?

There's no need to buy any self-help books or pay to listen to a life guru sprouting words of wisdom when they are staring at us all the time. For the procrastinators: Just Do It; the defeatists: Impossible is Nothing; the marketeers: Think Different; for the workaholics: Have a Break, Have a Kit Kat. Life's Great with these caring companies and I'm Lovin' It!

Happy Birthday
Come to think of it, we shouldn't just hope to have a 'happy birthday' which is at a pathetic 0.3% return rate a year. We should all wish for a 'Happy Everyday' and have a blast all year round.

Usual locations of common items arranged from the nearest to the furthest:
Info - at your fingertips
Your nemesis - under your skin
Ballpark figure - top of your head
Your well-conceived plan - down the drain
That thing you are looking for - last place you'd look
That email you sent your boss last week - black hole

More Words of Wisdom

Master post - Words of Wisdom

Part 4

Part 3

Part 2

Part 1