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1. Porn : there are loads of online sexperts providing an excellent hand-y job in this area already.   2. Personal porn : you can hav...

Tuesday, 28 July 2015

This Singapore nerd's musings on himself (part 9)

Turning 40
Ever since I crossed the threshold of the big Four Oh, I've decided to be more gung-ho and say 'YES' to whatever new adventures that life might throw at me. The Wifey rebutted "It is your mid-life crisis talking. Now stop your nonsense and go back to sleep!". I replied: "YES!".


Never the superstitious kind, I've never shied away from discussions on death, especially my own impending demise. While most people hope for a quick and painless departure when their numbers are up, I for one, would gladly go from a heart attack from engaging in something orgasmically pleasurable. At least people can say that I left earth on a climatic bang with a happy ending.

Physical discrimination
Why is there exercise discrimination when we always get to 'perform' yoga or Pilates but we only 'go' for a run or jog? Let me engineer some conspiracy theories while I orchestrate some bowel movement.

During the recent South East Asia Games, Singaporeans painted the town red in supporting Team Singapore. But when a visiting English Premier League soccer team thrashed our home boys, nobody saw red when we cheered the foreign talents. So it seems that our patriotism extends only within Asia and our appreciation of talents runs worldwide.

For a food show, if more than half the shots are on the pretty chef, then the chef is the featured dish. And the recipe usually includes: 2 fake eyelashes; a dash of mascara; a few pinches of blusher and 1 small teaspoon of lipstick; topped with a megawatt smile and serve while hot. 

Tuesday, 7 July 2015

Don't sue me

There are now two high profile court cases where men paid a high price for saying the wrong things on the wrong people. Hence I've always try to say the right thing to the right person all the time - "you are not fat, honey"