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1. Porn : there are loads of online sexperts providing an excellent hand-y job in this area already.   2. Personal porn : you can hav...

Thursday, 13 August 2015

Words of wisdom (part 4)

For women who want to have a bigger bust, you just need to have a smaller waistline. For men who want to look taller, you just need to surround yourself with shorter buddies. For all who want to look smarter than the rest, just encourage them to blabber non-stop and see them dig a hole for themselves.

There are now two high profile court cases where men paid a high price for saying the wrong things on the wrong people. Hence I've always try to say the right thing to the right person all the time - "you are not fat, honey"

In order not to mess things up, we are told to talk about anything but religion and politics. In order to spice things up with your buddies, you don't need to be told you should talk about nothing but religion and politics.
Life's a bitch when you realised that those models in cosmetics and lingerie advertisements will still look good without the product. But those in skin-care and slimming ads that appear in the 'Before' photos look like they really need lots of help from the product.

Why? Why ask?
Ask? Ask who?
Who? Who gives a shit?
Shit? Shit is the only constant in life, and it will happen.

More Words of Wisdom 


Sunday, 9 August 2015

Five musings on National Day Parade 2015

1. Looking at the mobile column with the latest shiny military vehicles on display, I half expect them to transform to Autobots, which might become a reality in SG100.

2. With the default dress code being red, those who didn't have any tops with 'SG' motifs will proudly don their football jerseys from Man Utd, Liverpool or Arsenal.

3. PM Lee is not the youngest minister but he sure is the most fashion-conscious one based on his bespoke red-white shirt that I would buy in a heartbeat from any enterprising blogshops selling replicas.

4. The annual NDP should be renamed as the National Day Play, with it hundreds of cast, dozens of songs,  props, costume, and pyrotechnics in the form of fireworks.

5. The only ones not sporting a smile throughout the entire Parade are the President and PM Lee's bodyguards. Their plain unassuming short-sleeved shirts which served them well in official events, ironically made them stood out in a sea of colourful costumes.

Friday, 7 August 2015

Simi sai SG50

 (Visual of SG50 logo not shown here for your sanity)

The ubiquitous SG50 red round logo has been used/abused, explored/exploited in every way possible. The SG50 logo now stands for Seriously Gratuitous 50 - which is the least number of times you will see it in any given day.

I'm so happy that during this National Day super long weekend, there are so many places Singaporeans can go for free. I encourage everyone especially my neighbours to join in the golden jubilee celebration, so that I can have peace and quiet in the comfort of my home for my movie marathon.

I'm so looking forward to the fireworks, live performances and local entertainment only a true-blue Singaporean will enjoy. I'm not referring to the just over National Day Parade. I'm talking about the upcoming General Election hustings.

Life's pretty sad ironies (part 2)

1. In our pursuit for a slim bod with gym packages and wearable gadgets, we need to have a fat wallet.

2. To appear taller than others, we often fall short in the department of empathy and respect.

3. We are so eager to jump on the bandwagon for the fastest broadband to cyberspace, that we neglect to take the slow boat in life.

4. We scour the world for the best instagram-worthy dishes that money can buy, but scoff at our mums' tummy-worthy home meals from the kitchen that money can't buy.

5. We dig deep in our pockets to splurge lavishly on the country's golden jubilee while we forget to look deep in our hearts to celebrate intimately the 50th birthdays of our loved ones.

Read  Life's ironies (part 1)